TWO WORLDS

TWO WORLDS

Two worlds

Two Lives

Intertwined

Day time

Night time

Part time

One rooted in Reality

One played out in my mind

Mother

Wife

Dirty Laundry

Prison Life

It is during the waxing and waning

Phases of the moon

(and my menstrual cycle)

that the veil is lifted
and the two worlds co-in-side

My soul is then free to soar
and go play in Quantum fields

Where I am no longer confined

Or defined

A place

Where I can defy

EVERYTHING I’ve been told

Is true.

(c) Teresa / Divinia 26th Sept 2013

song used Clarity (melting snow mix) by MAKYO
Artwork by Helena Nelson Reed 

LABELS

LABELS

One of the quickest ways to get noticed

And subsequently  labelled in society  is to be

Loud

Disruptive

Attention seeking

Challenge “authority”

Beautiful

You have nowhere to hide, and so 

You are promptly sent off to a “professional”

To be "fixed"

The labels stick
following you around your whole life...

Just like the tarred and feathered man who has been humiliated
the very fabric of his being destroyed.

Drugged, psychoanalyzed, even institutionalized

Unrecognizable

His true essence held prisoner inside.

Conversely, one of the most effective ways to get away

From this vicious cycle

Is to lay low, stay quiet, hide in plain sight

Act “normal”, smile when they say cheese

Out psyche the psychologists

They won’t even see it coming.

Everyone seems to think that being beautiful 

is the golden ticket to success

And in this superficial system it most certainly IS.

Being beautiful can indeed open doors.

 

But what about the beautiful girl who feels

Ugly

Worthless

Lost

Dumb

Undervalued

Lonely

Lacks any true intimacy

She can get away with blue murder

But who will take her seriously when she tries to explain to them
the secrets of the universe and her soul???

What she didn’t realize was, her beauty was a form of protection,

And although it got her all the WRONG kinds of attention

It hid the INCONVENIENT, UGLY TRUTH inside of her

She was the vessel, who held

Those alchemical ingredients
that comprized the fabric of the stars.

Her awkward smile, 

The flinching retreats from insincere flattery
was in fact, her biggest training ground

Something she couldn’t learn any other way

Her BULLSHIT DETECTOR…

The fastest and most effective tool she had on her side 

to cut through the illusions of what real

TRUTH and BEAUTY were.

A shrewd yet gentle beauty,
who let them believe what they wanted to,

Her skin so thick

To hide her often lonely pain and despair.

Often turning inward,

Self harm and self medication her only relief,.

WHY could not any one else see what was going on?????

This may sound like an unreal story

It may even sound really sad

But what people didn’t realize was just how much this girl really saw and knew

HAD they figured it out, they would have gone about

And labelled her with every three letter acronym or disorder in the book

So in a strange twist of irony

And fate

She somehow managed to be let off the hook.

Today, if you saw her walking past you on the street
you would still see those heads turn

she still sees the bullshit and the lies

but if you are sincere,
you will see her smile

And to those who continue to try
to label her entire existence
They will now quickly realize
she has removed her veil of protection
she will face you head on
she will never scream
she will never shout
but you will be left with no doubt

You just wouldn't DARE

(c) Teresa / Divinia th September 2013
picture copyright and credit http://danmorris.photoshelter.com/image/I0000drRtIPZVDB0

IF EVER I COULD STOP THINKING ABOUT MUSIC AND POETRY

“If you follow carefully
The flow of your energy
You will start to see
That you are a winner”

One spring day towards the end of 2004

Rhonda Byrne discovered a secret

only problem for me was that

I'd actually heard it all before

Then in 2005, I read the same thing
telling me to  “ask and it will be given” 
use my emotions as my guidance system
The universe will always return a perfect vibration


(no exceptions)

“Follow your emotions everywhere
is it really magic in the air? “

This has been the ongoing story of my life

but do you think it ever got me out of strife?

People telling me you gotta do this, you gotta do that

when all this stubborn Sagge wanted to do was turn her back ..

I was whack

Hell bent on doing things my own way

I didn't feel it was up to any one else to say

what was right in the world, and especially for me

I had my own ideas that resonated inside me

My poor Mother and teachers thought I was jesting

always acting precocious, and defiantly testing

their answers often falling short of satisfying my curiosity

I often wondered if we even shared the same reality

The incongruence's never escaping my mind,

the explanations they gave me were for the blind

“Could it be a picture in my mind? 
Never sure exactly what I'll find.”

I did find, that Music gave much inspiration, I saw the light 
through  listening to my fellow Sagge brother, Maurice white
he unwittingly mentored  me with his lyrics and great insight
30 years ago he had sung about concepts, that were coming back to life

I also read many other books to help me along

problem was, they all just reiterated the same old song..

hey...it's not that they were wrong

It's just that I needed answers to questions that were already too far gone

Eventually...

I reached a point of going on a downward spiral

my thoughts and emotions were erratic and viral

I had to get away from every day folk

to make sense of the myriad of things running through my dome

seriously... It was wasn't a joke

I could no longer tell the difference between truth and insanity

What was my imagination and what was reality?

television and newspapers only added to the travesty

nothing but bullshit scenarios, scare tactics and negativity

I needed something solid that I could hold on to

oh, the things that went through my brain, if you only knew

it's just that, to me, my thoughts were crystal clear, they made perfect sense

so why was it that I couldn't find anyone else who had jumped the same fence

"Could it be that it's just an illusion putting me back in all this confusion"?


      
When you begin to realise that no one else is able to see
let alone understand the same things that you feel
you question yourself...staying quiet becomes part of the deal
...you simply stop being who you were meant to be

Scared that others will think you are lost
Oh yeah, they'll even tell you you're losing the plot
“hey girl, you really do need to stop 
smoking all that home grown hydroponic pot”

"it's the worst type of loneliness
the loneliness of being misunderstood
or more poignantly 
the loneliness of being afraid to allow myself to be understood" 





It took me years...

But you know, I came to realize something very deep
And that is, 
FINALLY...the rest of humanity was catching up with ME
All those outlandish theories I once conceived
had now become well documented, popular theory

Can you believe?!

Scientists, Theologists, Philosophers galore
have been sampling my ideas (like a Jazzie B score)
it's just that, many years ago if you were positioned on the offside
you'd end up being discredited , ostracized or institutionalized


There really is a fine line between genius and madness...
believe me I know
it's just that, how far are we willing to stick out our necks, 
how far are we willing to go? 

"the personal revolution

is far more difficult than the first step in any revolution" 

To stand in the face of what we are being fed
(yes, our daily bread)
that which once sustained us, 
is now full of worms and holes
and vibrating coils 
of self conciousness
reaching into another time, and another place
our global collective archetypal dream scapes

"Only in my dreams I turn you on 
here for just a moment, then you're gone"...



constructing realities within realities 
fractally
some say factually
but actually
"hypocrisy is the greatest luxury" 

IN CONCLUSION...

It's up to each and every one of us 
to find our own personal state of

Chillumination


The universe doesn't judge the difference between 

good or bad
right or wrong
truth or insanity
dreams or reality
illusions or convolutions

it simply responds to our every whim

so



"If ever I was to stop thinking about music and poetry

I would tell you that 

Music is the expression of emotion
and that Poetry is a window to the soul"




  

(c) Teresa/Divinia/MissTee April 2011
 

credits and inspirations - my teachers 

Earth Wind and Fire - You are a winner from the Album RAISE (1981)

imagination – It's just an illusion 1982

Disposable Hero's of Hiphopricy – MUSIC AND POLITICS 1994

and the two books I mention:

THE SECRET – By Rhonda Byrne

ASK AND IT IS GIVEN – By Esther and Jerry Hicks

http://www.thesecret.tv/behind.html
http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/askitisgiven.php 

DYSLEXIA AND OTHER AFFLICTIONS

As a writer I am constantly searching for new words.

My mind knows how I feel, 
but my brain sometimes

can't make the connections

This is an symptom
of my affliction

my dyslexia.

I never knew I had it

and so, all through Primary and High school

I was told by teachers that my writing was

sloppy

vulgar

My punctuation was out of place

I repeatedly mis-spelled the same words

(despite knowing how to spell them)

I had good days and bad days...

Some days I could read and write with perfect ease

Other days...

I would skip lines

miss the point

have to re-read the same passages thrice

but to no avail

it just wouldn't stick in my mind

I could understand complex ideologies

and physics was a no brainer

But never ask me to repeat Pythagorean algebra

or the Latin names of every tree, animal or flower.

My dyslexic tendencies were actually so mild

that no one ever picked it up...

Instead I was told I was lazy,

and didn't try hard enough

Why was it then that I could memorize the words

and musical notes of entire albums?

And remember phone numbers of people

I hadn't spoken to for 10 years or more?

I can do additions and subtractions

faster than the girl ringing it up on her till

and explain secrets of the universe as yet undiscovered

But ask me to recount the history of the world at war

and I was an epic FAIL!

I still struggle with my words till this day

(Thank goodness for spell check and Roget's Thesaurus)

I  don't  read passages well out loud

and have trouble constructing in a linear time line

But having this supposed incurable affliction,

although it effected my diction

has taught me that the mind works in mysterious ways

and to never judge a student by their ability to rote learn words

or equations.

And that's my thoughts of the day.

Be kind to your children if they don't excel the way

you expect them to. 

(we never forget words like lazy, doesn't try, is hopeless, FAIL,

vulgar, sloppy, will eventually find her shining star

Its a bit like judging a fish's ability to cope

while living out of water)

FAMOUS PEOPLE WITH THE GIFT OF DYSLEXIA 

© Teresa / Divinia

4^th September 2012